I promised I’d write about the fantastic adventures I had on the train, so here it goes. Sorry about how far behind I am with the log. I’ve had so much to write about and so little time to put it on the Internet.
We managed to buy our tickets and board the train to Vladivostok quite well. I think at this point we had become pros… just as long as we didn’t do anything complicated. We settled into our cabin, both of us on the top bunks, and met our cabinmates, parents with their baby boy sharing the bottom two bunks.
The baby was impressively well behaved, crying only a few times and then for only a sort while. What was more of a problem was that this was to be our longest train journey yet and we didn’t have any food. Since the train left at 7am and we had arrived in Irkutsk late at night, we never had a chance to visit a supermarket like we did in Yekaterinburg and Moscow. When we finally bought some food from the stalls on the station platform, we realized that we had lost our pack of spoons and had to eat everything with our hands… not an easy thing to do when what you bought was soup and meat in sauce.
For those of you wondering, I was finally able to weigh myself when I arrived in Hong Kong. I had lost about 12 pounds since the beginning of the trip and I have no doubt that most of those pounds were lost in Russia.
On our first of three nights on the train, we decided to eat in the restaurant car. Fortunately they had an English menu (unlike the other train where the waitress took out her 10 year old english phrasebook and tried to translate for us). Unfortunately, they only had a few of the items on the menu and the waitress couldn’t speak English enough to tell us what. So we ordered two completely different things and ended up with two of the exact same dish.
While we were waiting for the food, we met a group of Russians sitting at the next table. One of them could speak some broken English and proceeded to ask us all sorts of things about where we were from, etc. etc. The whole car got involved in he conversation, and along with the party came a good deal of Russian vodka.
Back in Moscow, I had told Andy that I couldn’t come to Russia without trying some caviar and vodka. Up till then, we had stayed away from both because Andy hates vodka, having had a bad experience with Smirnoff (I’ll leave it as an exercise for the reader to find anyone who has had a good experience with Smirnoff) and neither of us had an overwhelming desire for caviar.
Well, now we were getting our taste of Russian vodka — Flagman to be exact — and we were getting it in full. Andy still couldn’t get past the taste of it and went quickly back to the beer, but I persisted, not wanting to give Americans a bad name in front of the Russians. (I later learned that our English speaking friend Alex was himself a bit afraid of the vodka and was staying with beer.)
I must have given quite a good showing, because I don’t remember what happened next. At some point everyone in the traincar had an arm wrestling contest and I technically owe my watch to someone as a bet. Our food came and was satisfactory, but it didn’t matter because we couldn’t taste it anyway. A drunk Russian army officer harassed us for our passports which we had left in our cabin. I was carried down the hallway and thrown into bed amidst lots of screaming by some official looking people. And thats about all I can remember.
If only I could say that everything was fine and dandy and I woke up the next day a little hungover but all the better for the experience. Hah. When I woke up, Andy informed me that I owed everyone in the train from my car down to the restaurant car an apology, especially the poor family below me. I would have gladly done this, except I had no idea how to say “I’m sorry” — the only thing coming close being “excuse me”. This I proceeded to say to everyone I saw the next day. I remained fairly sequestered in my cabin for the rest of the trip… not a problem I might add, because I never fully felt well again until we got off the train and I got a real meal in my stomach.
Alex and friends were quite delighted in their new foreign friends and stopped by our cabin to get us for some more drinking and partying in thier carriage. I drank a bunch of coffee while the rest toasted and talked about their jobs. It was here that I found out that we were drinking with former police officers, army officers, and corporate bigwigs, and that these people had managed to get me out of trouble when the police wanted to kick Andy and I off of the train. It was here also that I found out exactly what a disaster I had been the night before, and the reason why all of the carriage attendants glared at me (with one in particular not letting me into her carriage).
Fortunatly for me, we made it all the way to the end of the line without any further trouble. We didn’t see Alex and friends much after that because the providnistas (carriage attendants) ganged up to keep them out of our carriage and us out of theirs. I think I might have learned a life lesson on that train… if you are going to get drunk in a foreign country, get drunk with important people.
Never before had I gotten so drunk, so quickly. For all of you wondering about Russian vodka, let me tell you that the entire “experience” goes far beyond the actual drinking of the liquid itself. It is indeed far better than anything we have in the states (and I might even go so far as to say Grey Goose if only for the quantity). A shot of vodka is more than twice the size of a shot here, and the process of drinking it involves a long series of toasts and small appetizers. There are no chaser drinks here… vodka is all you have. It is for this reason that before you even realise that you are slightly tipsy, you are passed out on the floor.
With all of that said, if you get the chance and are a vodka connisseur, buy some “Russian Standard” or some “Flagman” vodka. Neither of them are actually spelled that way, if your browser supports it, here are the cyrillic words:
Russian Standard – Русский Стандарт
Flagman – Φлагман